I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
