I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
