I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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