fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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