i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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