i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
