Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think im going to throw up on grandma
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
