bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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