she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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