I wish I could punch you in the face.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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