....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
