K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
