Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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