Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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