I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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