It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
