I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
