i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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