I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
