ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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