I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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