Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
