You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
