Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
