i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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