just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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