shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I did not marry a roomba.
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