It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
