guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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