Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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