At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
