if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
