Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
