Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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