She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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