paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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