sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
