I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize