Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
