It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
