Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
