In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
