This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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