I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
