I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
