I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
