Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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