Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
