In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
