Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
